Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Auntie Em Auntie Em... Where the hell is my freaking house on this map?!?!?

I have decided that Florida is MUCH easier when it comes to weather than Texas is. Let me just share a few things from last night and the sheer terror evoked upon my poor 5 year old.

First lets explore Florida. In all the years I lived in Florida I don't think I EVER heard the emergency broadcast system used for anything other than "This is a test". If there really was an issue they just broke into your show and shared it with you. Florida's definition of "Tornado Watch" is conditions are favorable for a tornado stay alert and watch for further updates. Florida's definition of a "Tornado Warning" is there is a tornado ON THE GROUND heading your way and you need to seek shelter immediately. There are NO sirens, there is no additional panic added to an already stressful situation, things are orderly.

Now lets explore Texas... In Texas the emergency broadcast system is used ALL the time. Beep Beep Beep there is a severe thunderstorm warning in a town thats an hour away from you that you probably have never heard of but we thought you should know about it. Really... can't we figure out how to beep beep beep only for my county... As for the other stuff I sure can't figure out what the difference is. A "Tornado Watch" is issued when, well hell I don't know what they use this for... A "Tornado Warning" means conditions are favorable and you should probably seek shelter even though we really haven't seen anything or had reports of anything, your closet might be a good place to go until, um, well, we feel it's ok for you to come out. And forget the Sirens... I have no earthly clue what the hell determines if and when they go off.

I mean really last night was obnoxious. There were Tornado Warnings for every county without actual tornadoes on the ground or reported. The sirens would go off for about 5 minutes and then stop... then an hour later they were going off again for another 5 minutes... Three times we had this... I DON'T UNDERSTAND, am I just supposed to sit in my "safe room" for hours on end because you "think" it could be dangerous... it's no wonder people get hurt because they "don't heed the warnings" they don't understand the damn things and "Chicken Little" isn't helping.

Needless to say last night was a joy. Wade was freaking out, laying in bed with us, with his hands over his ears asking us to put on the news so he could see the weather man (he's 5 by the way). And when the sirens were going off he was about to have a panic attack because a "Tornado was coming"... At one point I was thinking... hmmmmmmm... if we do hear "the train" coming how the heck am I going to get Bryce's urn down from the shelf it's on? We have it on the plant shelf in our bedroom with some stuffed animals around it, yeah totally need a ladder for that, but not about to let it get sucked into the "vortex".... What a mess!

So to sum up the evening:

Texas, to me, is like Chicken Little. They don't have a logical warning system in place, it's all "the sky is falling the sky is falling"!

I need to rethink the location of Bryce's urn so I can "grab it on the fly"!

When one has a new car, one should make room in the garage for it so GOLF BALL size hail will not matter so much!

I am SO much better with Hurricanes than Tornadoes...

And after living in Orlando for so long and having "Disney" on the weather map to give you a reference I have to say... Dear Grand Prairie, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU? Unless they are using a map with Joe Pool Lake clearly marked on it, I have no freaking clue where we are. General vicinity, yes, exact location, not so much!

Rainbows apologize for angry skies. ~Sylvia Voirol

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