"An Angel in the book of life wrote down our babies birth, and whispered as she close the book....."Too beautiful for earth." ~ Author Uknown
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Happiness Eludes Us.. But we WILL find it!
Once again we are faced with "things not going the way we expected" and "picking up the pieces of heartbreak". Still trying to figure out why our family can't "catch a break". George posted the other day on Facebook " Headed to Target to get a bag of Kit Kat's... apparently it is the only way I can get a break"... and what do I do, awesome as I am, I go to the store and get a bag of Kit Kats as a joke and I inadvertently grabbed the bag of Mini's which come as singles...so George couldn't even "get a break" from his Kit Kats. I know, I know, where is she going with this? Is there a point! Well today is September 6, 8 months since our little Bryce "earned his angel wings" and I had a miscarriage this morning. Yup, another "Angel in Heaven". We have known for a few days that this was coming, but I never expected it to be ON THE 6th! Really!!!! I mean REALLY!!!
Without getting graphic, I was concerned on Friday so my OB Dr did some blood work and sent me home, said just to relax, don't stress, drink a lot and don't worry about it. Well on Saturday things started getting worse so I called the On-Call OB Dr who was AWESOME. I told him what was going on and asked if I should go to the ER. He said he didn't want me paying ridiculous ER prices because it was Saturday and I had no other options. He then told me to meet him at his office in 2 hours. So 2 hours later he met George and I in his office and did a sonogram where it showed that I had what appeared to be Blighted Ovum (Empty Gestational Sac), meaning all the signs of pregnancy but there was no baby in the sac. The Dr said that 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage and the chances are higher the older you are, so since I have had 2 healthy pregnancies and I am 36 years old, the odds were there that this would be a miscarriage but it doesn't mean that if we try again it would be the same! So I was sent home with pain medication and told that being 8 weeks pregnant my body would process the miscarriage itself and I shouldn't need medical intervention. Well this morning, 8 months after losing Bryce, we have another Angel in Heaven!
Where does that leave us... For those of you that have followed our journey with Bryce you know that we are fighters, we don't give up that easily and we are advocates for our cause. So we are heartbroken we are grieving, we will always wonder what if, always wonder would it have been a boy or girl, always thinking WHY are we being given so many obstacles in our lives! BUT we will get up, we will brush off the dirt, we will try again and like everything else we have been through we will survive!
My question is "a name" hmmmm... has to be something that is not gender specific... If you have not read "Heaven Is For Real" you must read it. There is a part in it where the little boy, Colton, says he met "his sister" and his mom starts to cry, as "his sister" was a miscarriage, when she asked Colton what her name was he said "she doesn't have one, you never named her"....