Have you ever scoured the house looking for a piece of clothing. You know the last time you wore it but can't seem to figure out where you put it. It hasn't been seen since... Hmmmmmm.... today Hmmmmmm became a realization! 212 days ago, 7 months, December 14, 2010 we returned home from our Walt Disney World/Disney Cruise Line Vacation. 7 months ago and the suitcases were never unpacked. I came across them today, and realized "that's where that is". Strange how life just gets put on hold. Bryce started to show signs of fatigue on our vacation, he was tired a lot and wanted to be held. We figured it was just a long trip and his sleep pattern was messed up, I mean it couldn't be the cancer he was doing so good. It was at the airport waiting for the flight home that we really started to get worried and called the oncologist for advice... Bring him in as soon as you get back, was what we were told. The next day we were at the hospital with him and he was immediately admitted... this was the last admission. December 14, 2010 thru January 6, 2011... as our world stopped and then crashed down around us the suitcases from our fabulously wonderful family vacation were dropped at the front door to remain pushed aside, no longer important. Today I was moving things around and realized, they were still packed!
Another realization from today, I lost a filling 2 years ago! Has it really been that long? I went to the dentist today and they asked me when I lost the filling, I kind of laughed and said 2 years ago. The look of astonishment on their faces was filled with disappointment as the Dentist said "Do I need to give you a lecture right now" and I replied "No, my son was battling cancer for the last 2 years and passed away in January I have been a little preoccupied and finally have time to take a breath and take care of my needs"... Yea that pretty much stopped the conversation. His reply, like most everyone else was "O' my, wow... I'm sorry" then he said "No lecture for you today". As I braved it through the appointment (I'm not a fan of the dentist) it was time for me to get my next appointments set up and pay. As I was sitting there going over the work that needed to be done (Root Canal with a crown...O yes, I am so looking forward to that) it took ALL in my power not to cry. My emotional side was already tapped by having to tell the cancer story, but then the song "I Can Only Imagine" by Mercy Me came on the radio. Que the water works... NO YOU MUST HOLD BACK, Don't cry Don't cry!!!
So now I am trying to find ways to cheer myself up. I have the evening alone, me thinks it's time for some ChocoVine (chocolate wine... the best stuff EVER) and some Franklin and Bash followed by The Glades!!! Now if only we could get California to share some of their cooler weather with the rest of the US we'd be all set... I mean a high of 69 degrees in San Francisco while it's a heat index of 110 degrees in Dallas/Fort Worth... Does that really seem fair? I think NOT!
Much love to everyone and remember, when you can't find your clothes, check the suitcases from your vacation they maybe be still sitting in the corner waiting on life to resume!
Memory is a child walking along a seashore. You never can tell what small pebble it will pick up and store away among its treasured things.
~Pierce Harris, Atlanta Journal
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