Tuesday, January 3, 2012

An Angel Reaches Down to Comfort

As we grow closer to Bryce's 1 year "angel"versary I have been having a really hard time functioning. Friday he will be celebrating one year in Heaven. While I know he is surrounded by greatness, it still hurts to think he has been gone from us for a whole year... ALREADY! Another mom said it perfectly today " Somehow over the last 12 months, time has continued to move on at its usual high speed with no regard for the fact that I haven’t kept up with it." ... exactly, who said that time could pass so quickly? The past few days I have felt a huge weight, a sadness so heavy that I can't do anything to shake it. Yesterday I was scheduled to work a double shift. I was at such a low I was not able to focus... I could barely function and decided it would be best if I went home, so I left at 3pm ...an unexcused absence... but it was the best decision for my personal/emotional well being.

This morning my mom and I went to the Dr, the real purpose of the visit was for my mom to get some prescriptions renewed but she made me go with her so that I could ask about getting some type of medical leave or FMLA set up. We wanted to see if there were any options available. We are very close to our family DR so she is very aware of what has been going on and all the stress our lives bring... Right as she handed me a tissue to wipe away my tears Bryce put his hand on my heart and said "mommy it's ok"... You see at that very moment, right when we were talking about his 1 year "angel"versary and how hard it has been for me... I heard, ever so faintly, over the conversation, the radio from the hallway, and stopped mid sentence... I said "shhhhhh"... my mom and the DR both thought I was nuts as I started to cry and then got a great BIG smile and said... Everything is OK, I am OK.... You see the song that was on was "He's My Son" by Mark Schultz. It is a song that we used at Bryce's funeral and a very powerful and emotional song.... One that I have NEVER EVER heard played on the radio... One that I never expected to hear on the radio... and here it was right then, right there, right as I was having a meltdown and trying to figure out how to make the heartache bearable... Like a Purple Monkey (for those that remember the Purple Monkey story) coming right out of Heaven and saying ... "Mommy it's ok, you're ok, I'm here with you" Yes Bryce... You are here with me Forever and Always!

For those of you that might not be "believers" or have a hard time finding "faith" What can I say... No matter how you look at it we have had so many "moments" since Bryce passed away, moments like this that can't be explained other than to say ... An Angel (our angel) reached down to comfort us... AGAIN!

God not only sends special angels into our lives, but sometimes He even sends them back again if we forget to take notes the first time! ~Quoted in The Angels' Little Instruction Book by Eileen Elias Freeman, 1994

"He's My Son" by Mark Schultz
(for those that have never heard it)


  1. Indeed, Bryce is watching over you and letting you know that he is doing fine in Heaven. Whether it be a purple monkey, a butterfly, a rainbow or just a gentle breeze that brings us comfort, our angels are always there for us helping us through each moment of each day. BIG HUGS from Southern Maryland.God bless.JoAnne Junkin

  2. I so believe you and honestly through our talks you have helped me to see and feel the signs from my angel!! Thank you Amy!!! Love ya and big hugs!!! I'm a phone call away!!!!